I didn’t make any specific new years resolutions this year, but I did look at the coming year as a clean slate, a new opportunity, and a fresh start. And I have to tell you, my burst of “New Year Motivation” lasted nearly to March, which is way longer than usual. I was getting things done around the house, keeping up with my obligations at work, and feeling good about myself in general. I spent zero time on social media, and could rarely be found wallowing in depression and self-loathing.
Well, now its April, and here I am blogging when I am supposed to be working. My motivation has left, and in its place is incurable laziness. It’s making my work more difficult, making my home life more difficult, and really dragging me down emotionally. and I just can’t seem to shake it. I can’t seem to get back on the inspiration bus.
Part of the problem may be that I have no clear aim in life. No ultimate goal or direction. Or maybe its the constant nagging feeling of meaninglessness, or fear of failure. But I’m not completely without hope, because this is just one part of a cycle I have been repeating for years, and soon enough I will be back on top, getting things done, and making stuff happen. Another reason I am hopeful, is that I have been consistently working to stretch out the periods of inspiration and productivity, and slowly abbreviate the lazy lump periods.