Parent However the F*** You Want

 

parent

Please.  I’m seriously people.  I need you to do me a favor.  Go ahead and raise your kids in any way you see fit.  Are you a helicopter parent?  Fantastic.  May your rotor never cease its turning (Unless you want it to).  I’m glad you are keeping your children safe.  Or maybe you are sitting on a park bench, eyes fixed on your smartphone while your kids navigate the playground equipment.  Whether it’s because you value independence, you just need a break, or you really do have something important to do on there (really.) is none of my business.  You are doing what you need to do to survive and thrive in your parenting journey.  I appreciate that, and I thank you for it.

Parenting isn’t an exact science, a lot of times we have to go by feel.  What’s best for one family may not work for another.  That’s fine. In fact, it’s so much more than fine.  It’s a darn beautiful thing.  There is no sense in nit-picking, labeling, or tearing each other down.  We’re all doing the best we can in our difficult and oftentimes confusing roles as parents, and we would do well to support each other, even if we have a few variances in style and technique.  Because at the end of the day were all trying to do the same thing:  What’s best for our families.

The only thing that I could offer you in the way of advice is this:  Whatever you do, do it out of love, and not fear.  Act out of compassion, and not compulsion.  Follow your instincts.  Trust yourself,  trust your kids, and parent however the fuck you want.

More things that won’t affect my respect for you as a parent:

  • Your 6 year old uses a pacifier
  • 4 bounce houses, 7 clowns, and 10 piñatas at your kids birthday party (I hope I’m invited)
  • The age your kids potty train
  • Where and when your kids sleep
  • Where (or if) your kids go to school
  • You push your 10 year old in a stroller
  • You nurse your 3 year old
  • You only allow your kids to watch 20 minutes of television a week
  • Your kids binge watch 3 seasons of Pokemon in one weekend
  • You’re religious
  • You’re not religious
  • You eat at Mcdonalds
  • The number of children you have
  • The frequency with which you acquire said children
  • What kind of toys or electronics your kids have

Thanks for reading.

~Dadosaurus Rex

(Hey!  Don’t forget to check out http://www.fb.com/thedadosaur)

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3 Reasons People Are Complaining About Your Parenting

complain
When our children were younger, we were very conscientious about their care.  They didn’t drink “Kool-Aid.”  We mixed their juice half and half with water.  There was not often candy in our house.  We didn’t have network or cable television, and they would occasionally watch something from our collection of age appropriate DVDs (and by age appropriate, I don’t necessarily mean G rated, Cartoons, or Disney movies, many of which are extremely confusing and traumatic for a very young child)  We weren’t denying them anything they were asking for, but simply not giving them anything that was potentially damaging to their health and happiness when they weren’t even asking for it.

For some reason, this upset people.  A chorus of “You can’t shelter them forever!” was constantly ringing in my ears.  A phrase that never made much sense to me, because all parents “shelter” their children to a certain extent.  You don’t sit your 3 year old down to watch hard core pornography.  You don’t offer your 5 year old a shot of vodka.  You don’t drop your 2 year old off on the outskirts of town and see if they can find their way home.  Oh, and then there was the story of so-and-so.  You remember s0-and-so, don’t you?  Their mother never allowed them to have such-and-such, and when they finally got ahold of it they were obsessed with it and never did anything else!  You don’t want your kid to be like so-and-so, do you?  People were also constantly trying to undermine our parenting decisions.  Thrusting spoonsful of ice cream toward my 8 month old daughter, or putting on movies they knew we wouldn’t want the kids watching.  In short, it was extreme disrespect for my children’s wellness, and extreme disrespect for my wife and I as parents.  Obviously, we didn’t know what we were doing, so they had to correct it for us.

Well, some years and a few kids later, things have changed.  The kids are older, candy is inevitable, and we now have a TV with Netflix and a computer with the internet.  But one thing hasn’t changed, we are still upsetting people with the way we raise our children.  The problem now?  Too much freedom.  We don’t force them to dress a certain way, we let them eat when and what they would like, they do not have a fixed bedtime, they decide who they do and don’t want to hug and kiss, and we have no limits on screen time.

Why then, are people still upset?  Isn’t this what they wanted?  For us to stop sheltering our children and to stop being so “controlling”?  But that was never really the issue.  The issue was that we were doing something different.  We were going against the grain, and we still are.  That is a problem for three reasons:

1. By doing something different we must be implying that the way they raised their children was wrong.

2. They are jealous because they wanted to do something different, but gave in to pressure to maintain the status quo.

3.  Society has taught them to fear what they do not understand.

So, to all you different parents out there, I say be yourself, do what’s best for your family, and don’t listen for one second to the jerks who try to bring you down.  Your children will thank you, and you won’t have to ever wonder what would have happened if you had raised them the way you knew was right.

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